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[Dec. 31st, 2008|12:07 am] |
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I'm never going to understand how mean people can be. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2008|12:51 pm] |
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Remember when everyone used to really, really, really, REALLY like alley cats? When you would even travel to compete or just drink keg beer until you fainted and someone wrote "I'm gay" on your forehead or had sex/made out with someone scary? Why are there big beefy men with mallets ready to decapitate you at the given opportunity trying to control and exploit cycling and its features? I feel like bike races have lost their appeal and now I feel almost irritated by them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2008|10:20 am] |
I am so CHUNG LEE OVER!
This isn't even funny though. It's not making me spew my morning hydration desperation all over my still stinking of bar shirt from last night(though my body feels like a period cramp heating pad. all of it. Everywhere.) Other than scorching, it's really more depressing than anything. My head hurts and so does my butt. I've been waiting to wakeup way too early, still way to drunk, in order to write another tale for MY BLOG but I wrote a paragraph and it was shit. I couldn't form the jokes, the characters were under-developed and Jackson Five is fucking annoying. Wow, maybe that was it!
Everything hurts.
And everything is annoying and depressing.
i read 3 stories from an Archie Comic last night, before conking out, and it was weird. That love triangle is sick and it's even sicker to influence children with the encouraged, morality-lacking lifestyle of sharing a dick with your best friend. On a day-to-day basis.
And Archie's a fucking ginger. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|08:37 pm] |
Oh my god.
I am trying to write my paper at Panera Bread because it is the only place with wireless and without my little brother and older sister screaming.
BUT...
There was this huge nerd having a date with himself for about 1 hour. He cheered himself, laughed to himself, even smoked his toothpick with himself. All the while seated with one leg up facing me directly, less than 24 inches away, whatever that is in feet? 2? I failed Math...and Science (i.e. Biology of Human Sexuality), so I don't really know how far away he actually was.
Well anyways, I am sitting here trying to concentrate almost crapping in my pants because there is this nerd with a honey brown bowl cut playing with himself in front of me, and [enter left stage], in waltzes another nerd. This one with more hair, less moles.
WHAT! WHERE DID HE COME FROM!
Here is basically the conversation:
Nerd #1: Hey man, so how'd it go? did she like you? i saw you over there.
Nerd #2: Yeah, she totally dug it. I didn't know her mom and dad were going to be there. They were totally feeling me.
N1: I had perfect view. You were pretty smooth. Have you ever seen Chelsea (Chalula? Chimichange? Whatever they said?) without makeup?
[What happened to the girl Nerd #2 was talking about in the first place. These playas just skipped from one to the other like that. Snap!]
N2: Yeah, isn't she albino?
N1: No, she's just white. she wears long sleeves and pants.
N2: Really, weird. i think chocolate chunk is my favorite cookie.
N1: You did really good with her.
N2:Yeah her brother dug me.
N1: I wanted to go over there.
[Now: Center Stage Nerd #1 watches Nerd #2 eating soup. Nerd #1 offers his brotherly advice...]
N1:Try to get fancy and chill, you know. Man! That is a brilliant onion! Man, those cookies are like crap flavored.
N2:Those are not regular cookies they have crap in them.
N1:I taste strawberry shortcake. I thought it was going to be bad, It was delicious. They put crap in it!
[I am done! I have to leave or else I'm going to shit out the 5 cups of coffee I had.]
[Hold on! Just one more]
N1: Man, I want to marry Pita bread!
N2:What? Pita bread or Panera Bread?
N1: Panera Bread that's what I said. I want to marry this table and have little chair babies. I love this place!
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| As Judy Garland said, "Laugh at some shit that's funny!" |
[Sep. 19th, 2008|07:00 pm] |
What the fuck is this guy complaining about? It's funny!
I feel like someone wrote the story of me having sex for the first time and put it on a message board. I should sue for plagiarism.
I mean the alien noises are dead on, not so much the animal, but probably some martian landing was heard.
She ran into a wall with her bra and underwear on! ...And then fell on the floor and made alien noises.
Come on!
http://i38.tinypic.com/34skutc.png
I got this from Nina. My friend that knows me best. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|12:46 pm] |
I like that my friends don't hold back when they have something they need to say to me...
Jan 10, 2008 8:17 PM
"THIS IS ALL COOL EXCEPT THE PART ABOUT THE DRUMMER DUMPING THE BAND OVER MYSPACE. WTF! DUMPING OVER MYSPACE ISN'T COOL OR FUNNY, IT'S JUST DUMB AND IMMATURE. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THAT KIND OF LIFESTYLE."-Caleb
Apr 17, 2006 7:38 PM
"and baby there aint no time for pissing and freaking, i got a whole new world to show you, far away from this one, a world where ceiling fans spin in the opposite direction and lizards don't grow back their tails when they get chopped off, they simply buy them at a lizard tail outlet."-Caleb...again
"Apr 17, 2006 7:35 PM
i really really really really really really really have to "shit really bad"-Caleb...Part III
"Feb 24, 2006 8:33 PM
jesus christ your cute as fuck we should swap bodily fluids real soon like."-Caleb...SV4LYFE
Oct 10, 2005 9:58 PM
"I am a lez"
-allie whalen (i never said that)
Oct 11, 2005 6:21 PM
"i'll DBT you anytime you want!"-DBT(Drunken Boob Touch)(Ask Kaysie, it was her boobs he touched)
"Aug 13, 2005 3:40 PM
good morning! wait...what happened to your silkies? PUT SOME JEANS ON!!"-KC (words from Caitlin Carroll)(CC is this girl that when I would sleep at her house, miraculously, her silky pajamas would always be on the floor in the morning. She'd strip whilst I slept and I'd wake up to her pre-pubescent cooter and just weird nips.)
Jun 8, 2005 5:00 PM
"alli, i dare you for one day not to mention anything about poop"-This huge asshole from High School
May 18, 2005 4:39 PM
"your weird"-hot chinese(my first love)
May 19, 2005 2:08 AM
"you leave hot chinese speechless. you've left him at a 3rd grade speech level. i knew you'd make all the boys blabble."-Jen's response
"Mmm what an oily sweaty stud. nice seein u last weekend i had fun , hope we can chill again soon!"-Swan(This kid who made out with me for 3 hours after i complimented his blast beats)
"ALISSON WHALEN HAD A TURTTLE HEAD IN ART CLASSSSSS TODAY! SHES GRROOOOOOSSSSSSS!"-Barb(nuff sed) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|05:12 am] |
Lately, I feel like my mind has been teetering.
My literary terms are in shambles, my grammar has gone to shit, and my references and knowledge seem doubtful and almost made-up. I feel like I am making up these beautiful scenarios and even words that have no meaning or actual existence. I don't know what it is. My head feels dizzy and I can't focus. Is it because I have issues again? Caleb? Has anyone else noticed some more than average rambling going on or is it just me?
Oh god. The gravity bong. It's the gravity bong's fault. Get that thing far away from me before I turn into lump with a bean sack for a brain and little spaghettis for the nerves. |
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| BLOODBATH MCGRATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Aug. 2nd, 2008|06:22 pm] |
How mean was that wet dream!
My fingers smelled like your ass but I don't think I fingered your butthole.
It was the crusted spittle from spaghetti lips. Got to be.
Where are all my friends in this stupid town? |
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| Trina you're so gay. I hope you get your head stuck in that cup! |
[Jul. 12th, 2008|06:55 pm] |
This has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life.
Especially because Jen just bent over in front of me stark naked and i saw her butthole, weiner, and balls.
Here is my current state:
It's like someone took all the bad emotional mess i felt on the inside and turned it out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|02:26 am] |
I really appreciate people who i know so well in town, have such strong relationships with, would tell them first if there was anything wrong, completely and totally trust them to share something with. Those people are the best. The kind I really love and cherish.
The kind who i would never turn to in my entire life and shouldn't know anything about me or what i've been doing. Thankyou for blowing this up to the point where the whole town is talking and coming up to me hoping to find remorse.
This is stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2008|01:38 pm] |
She's doing IT
doooooooooooooooooooooooooggggggggyyyyyy styyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyle! |
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| I honestly don't know what to do, vanessa! |
[Jun. 20th, 2008|02:28 pm] |
My hair smells amazing right now. I used a small packet of shampoo and conditioner i found in the bathroom next to the cutips. It feels nice, smells nice, looks normal.
Everything has been so normal. Normal with a side of the usual issues, which aren't doing so hot. They either need to start microwaving their sides beforehand or something cause they are pretty shitty right now.
My armpits even smell normal, you know like the underwear of the vegan hotdog guy after he eats some.
Soon, I can leave all this and go traveling with my favorite tards, then keep traveling with my favorite tard, meet up with 2 of my favorite tards, and come home with my favorite tard.
tard heaven.
Could it be better than Rock and Roll Heaven?
Or Garden Cafe?
Or Bikkuri?
Or Valencia?
Or Steven Pellot?
Or College Park Video?
Or...DeLand? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:35 pm] |
I've gotten sicker and more depressed.
I need to get better and have a drink. FOR REAL!
Everytime I laugh it makes me tired and i think my face is stuck in a permanent frown now.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2008|10:44 pm] |
I feel sick and all I want is someone to lay down with me.
rub my back or even just lay there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|05:50 pm] |
Sometimes shit is just so funny that i'll be hanging out, relaxing and just let out a little roar of laughter.
It sends tinglys all over my bod and apparently, according to orlando's favorite asshole, makes my face look really ugly.
But what can i say, bitch calls 'em like he sees 'em. I'm just saying when the meltdown comes with this weekend's ice age i'm not gonna be there pick up the little poop droppings that's left of you.
Wait. Why am i even saying this, i'm not even mad.
I'm doing the laughing thing again.
UNCLE DUKEY! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2008|07:13 am] |
I can't stop having nightmares. I go to sleep scared knowing that i'm going to have to face the routine two that occur every night. I'll have one, wake up, turn the light on and lay there. Then i'll turn off the light and try to listen to myself breathe long enough to fall asleep and then have another until I wake up in the morning.
I couldn't do it this morning, when i woke up at 5:30, because I just had one of the most horror-like ones that I feel almost embarrassed of being so frightened by.
I never want to read Zora Neale Hurston again because now i'll only see her as a homicidal woman with a white accent who forced me into choking someone to death.
I found a collection of three books on the library floor with a girl who i guess name was Gloria. I didn't know what they belonged to until I realized they were three out of a collection. I told her and she went to go find the remaining parts but then as she was returning with them, Hurston kept calling out moaning her name. She came running over to the chairs we were at and for some reason I put my arms around her and tried to kiss her, then i felt this chill over my hands and when I looked at her she was gagging. Hurston was choking her while we both had our arms over her shoulders. She was making me help her.
Most of these dreams center around death. Fucking stupid Gloria isn't that repetitive for they are usually about the same person.
I don't know what is causing this but now I dread taking part in one of my most favorite pastimes.
Sleeping is supposed to be the cure-all, so what the hell do I do now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|06:00 pm] |
So, this wednesday I was hit by a car on my bicycle.
The closest i've ever come to human contact with an automobile was when my friend's mom ran over my foot in middle school, but I guess there's a first time for everything.
Taking the pre-caution to ride on the sidewalk of a busy road fucked me over. My calves are in great pain as well as the rest parts my body. I keep getting these rushes of fatigue and they won't stop. I feel like I'm constantly high off something and fighting it with intoxication probably isn't the best thing to do.
It so overwhelmed me last night to where tears began to fall from eyes, only to be comforted by a warlock.
I can't even think right now or begin to tell if it's the hangover or my rattled head. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|03:43 pm] |
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I think if I have to listen to my sister humping or getting humped one more time in my life i'm going to throw up in a paper towel and wipe it across her face. |
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whaledicks's journal
